confessions of a coffee shop infidel

I work from home. What this really means though, because I'm a miserable failure at actually working at home, is that I spend an embarrassing amount of time with my laptop at coffee shops.

Workday mornings go something like this: shower, dress, check email, eat tasteless healthy breakfast, feed dogs tasteless not-so-healthy breakfast, bound out the door.

And here my routine comes to a screeching halt. Picture me, sitting in my driveway, thumb tapping the steering wheel, wondering, which coffee shop today?

I live in Seattle. The options are truly endless. As much as possible I prefer to work from independent coffee shops. The advantages are numerous: The music is better. The people are weirder. WiFi is free. And a significant perk: no Starbucks chocolate donut to wage war with All. Day. Long.

Seems like an obvious choice, yes? Well, not so much. My great shame is that I'm addicted in the worst way to Starbucks coffee. I have wrestled with, been tormented over, have tried to overcome this addiction. I don't WANT to like Starbucks coffee better. No real coffee aficionado likes Starbucks best.

Now don't get me wrong. I love Starbucks 'the company'. I'm all about big business and capitalism. And I love how they've revolutionized two of my very favorite things: coffee and community. Without this coffee juggernaut the gazillion independent shops in Seattle and around the nation likely wouldn't exist. Starbucks gave birth to all these smaller coffee shops and like any good woman, I want to play with the babies. But my big dark secret that you now know is, I DON'T LIKE THE BABIES.

Or at least their coffee anyway.

The truth is, I have been a bit sheepish that my palette has cast such a decided vote in favor of Starbucks. Saying you like Starbucks better than, for example, Caffe Ladro, is like saying you live in Burien instead of West Seattle (and for the record I don't like saying that so much either.) But while I'm quite convinced that West Seattle is superior to Burien, I'm not so certain Starbucks deserves its bum rap. I like their coffee. No wait, let me rephrase that. I LOVE STARBUCKS COFFEE. It is, at least while Court is in Colorado, the best part of my day. (When we're together I perpetuate the ruse that he's better than coffee.)

Now that I'm out of the proverbial coffee closet, let me also say this. What is particularly bothersome to me is when these smaller shops start getting attitude. Take the slogan from Caffe Ladro for instance. "Caffe Ladro serves the finest espresso to Seattle's discriminating coffee drinkers." See, that just makes me mad. I spend way too much money on coffee to not be considered discriminating. I AM discriminating. I hate lots of coffee which can only mean that my coffee palette is superbly refined.

So here's how I've solved my dilemma. On most days when I finally stop tapping my thumb and leave my driveway, here's what I do. First, I go slummin' at Starbucks for my double short Americano. I drink it, savoring every last drop of ghetto goodness. And then I head across the street to Caffe Ladro where I work for the rest of the day. Around 2:00pm, I buy a cup of coffee from Ladro. And around 2:06pm I throw it away.

But hey, at least no one can say I don't play with the babies.