waiting

Yesterday I waited at 19 stoplights and 32 stop signs. I waited at two Starbucks for two double-short Americanos. I waited for the First Avenue Bridge to go up and down... two times. I waited in two construction zones. I waited 30 minutes for my Microsoft client to arrive for our meeting. I waited 45 minutes for my computer to update with Windows Vista SP2. I waited during 17 commercials for American Idol to return. I waited 2 minutes and 30 seconds for my popcorn. I waited six minutes in the rain for my dogs to do their outdoor duty.

Waiting. Sometimes we find ourselves stuck, anticipating something else... another destination, another activity, a brighter place somewhere else on the horizon. At this particular time of my life everyday really feels like one giant 'wait' for something else... I'm waiting for Friday when we will know the result of our home inspection... I'm waiting for April 15 when our house will close ... I'm waiting for my next visit to Colorado when we can complete our adoption paperwork... I'm waiting for June 25 when my Microsoft contract will be over and I can move to Colorado and be with my husband... I'm waiting for motivation to conquer that blasted Starbucks chocolate donut once and for all...

The recent tragic news of Natasha Richardson's death has caused me to reflect on all this waiting. I'm not a big follower of the Hollywood crowd but anytime someone dies doing something so seemingly innocuous it makes me catch my breath a little. That reminder, that we can be snuffed out in a matter of seconds, is such a bitter pill to swallow. I tend to live life feeling fairly immortal which is really rather foolish. Evaluating our own mortality, the fact that these bodies come with an expiration date, isn't fun. The reality is there nonetheless. Perhaps waiting at the First Avenue Bridge will be one of the last things I do. If such were the case and I knew it my attitude would surely be something other than grumbling and impatient fidgeting.

The idea of 'living intentionally' is trite and yet there's a worthy powerful message there. I may not have tomorrow. Am I who I want to be today? Am I doing what I want to do... today?

Ephesians 5:15-16 "Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time..."